Really Lame Day

Not that it put me in a terrible mood (because how can you not enjoy a monsoon day where your friend cooks you homemade dumplings?), but let me give you a small sample of the last 24 hours' events:

1. A bird pooped on my forehead while I was walking home, talking on my cell phone to Erin. Such that it ran down my nose and all down the front of my shirt. And I swear it had to have been the biggest bird in Hanover. Kill me now.

2. After several episodes of Sex And The City (while I was upstairs playing World Of Warcraft like the nerd I am) I went downstairs to find my good friend halfway through her THIRD bottle of wine that night. I took it away from her. And she, at 22 years of age, started crying that she was going to die alone. Wine and Sex And The City is a deadly combination. Like a bad drug.

3. Oliver peed on my comforter again. While I was sleeping under it.

4. Beatrix died. Andrew Ocean is officially a failure. He'll be heartbroken when he gets back from Africa.

UPDATE: 5. I just recieved in the mail, my weekly newsletter from my beloved Mohegan Tribe. I realize the envelope feels quite thin and light. I pause my ripping it open and hold it up to the light. Its empty. They sent me an envelope filled with NOTHING. They hate me.


Erin said...

I am so, so sorry about the bird crap. But I did laugh when you hung up, and then almost got run over by a car. So at least karma is sort of on your side...

Gemma said...

okay, update 5 is pretty funny too, or maybe it is just the way you write about your life that makes it so amusing. But don't worry, not everybody sends you empty envelopes.

Anonymous said...

My friend Nancy, who works for the newsletter and is giving me 3 feral kittens to socialize, says that the printer stuffs the envelopes and they had a couple of other complaints as well. The tribe loves you - especially Councilor Mark Hamilton who tells me how wonderful you are every time I see him. Feel free to come visit if you want to help some feral kitties stop hissing and spitting at every human they see.