I'm That Girl

Thursday evening I flew to Washington D.C. for a little weekend getaway before classes start [tomorrow]. I had some time to kill, just sitting at the gate, so I decided to charge my very dead iPod. As my flight began boarding, I stared at the iPod sitting on the floor in front of me so that I wouldn't forget it. They called my row to board in the first group, so I jumped up and waltzed my sassy little butt to seat 22D. I looked at my very hairy, pierced, young neighbor and gasped! I had forgotten my iPod! So I squeeze my way back past about 6 moderately offended passengers trying to take their own seats and run back to the door, where the Flight Attendant tells me I CANNOT leave the plane, she doesn't CARE how much an iPod costs! So while the rest of the plane is still boarding, I stand next to the Attendant greeting everyone with my "I'm An Idiot" placard hanging from my neck, just so everyone knows, and the Captain of the plane goes back into the airport and successfully retrieves my iPod. Thank You, First Officer Mike.

And, obviously, since that wasn't an injury, I couldn't add any insult to it, so I got myself an injury for good measure. Friday morning I thought I'd adventure over to Maryland to play at at Toddler Gym with Jess and her girls. That was very much fun and not at all injury-inducing. I took the Metro from DC out into the suburbs, where Jess picked me up. On my way back into DC that afternoon, the train was about to leave the station when I got to the platform so I made a mad dash for the door, expecting that as soon as the door felt pressure on it, it would re-open. DO NOT MAKE THIS MISTAKE, PEOPLE! Metro doors are NOT like elevator doors. Metro doors are like mean, hungry crocodiles ready to snap off your foot if you give them the chance. So there I am, with my right buttcheek, purse, and right foot stuck inside a Metro train, while the rest of me was on the platform. I fight and wiggle and get my butt and purse back onto the platform while a large black man who works at the station tells me "Excuse me, Miss, there's a train coming right behind this one in about a minute." And I yell back at him "Well I'd be HAPPY to take that train if this one would LET ME GO!!"

Finally someone hits a button that opens the door and I lose my balance and fall onto the large black man, who says to me "Man...if I had a camera, you would be all over America's Most Wanted right now." I think he meant America's Funniest Home Videos but calling me a violent criminal works, too, I guess. My leg does sort of look like I got into a fight...

2 comments:

Beth said...

Thanks for the warning, I would've thought the same thing on the doors.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious Allie!!