I Haven't The Slightest Idea How This Happened

I am graduating for the last time (at least until I decide I want to get a Master's Degree) from Dartmouth in 10 days. I am living out my last ten days ever at this school - my home. I'm not scared of what's next; I know exactly what's next. Sunday night I'm moving into my brand spanking new grown-up apartment in Boston with the lovely Bernice, then I start my new job the next day. I am terrified that I will never find another place where I feel quite so much like I belong here. Having spent my entire life making new places 'home,' (17 of them, in total, pre-Dartmouth) I know that I won't have a problem making myself comfortable, but every time I stop thinking about my homework and final projects (which are still in complete shambles) or how hungry or tired I am, I find myself in total disbelief that I'm leaving. It just seems strange. I've even spent every summer here; even the ones during which I wasn't taking classes.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that when I got here, I didn't have the faintest idea what it would take to actually get through it - living off of Red Bull and chicken tenders, sleep deprivation so bad you hallucinate, pretending you don't know that the kid who said he broke the expensive window panel in the front entryway with a long piece of bar stock actually did it by falling off a skateboard, finding new ways to take your mind off the work including kicking your shoes across a 200m long mega-hallway, more "that's what she said"s than I want to remember, coming up with innovative problem and testing solutions such as using 10 toaster ovens to discharge a bank of ultracapacitors, and learning how to deal with your friends even when they're screaming at you and each other and stabbing screwdrivers into the foam stock in the project lab. But we're the best and the brightest, right?

Well, I'm ready for the ride. Can't be worse than any of the other ones I've been on. I hear nothing but good things about Boston. And Daddy's even flying out for this graduation!!

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