Getting Corrected by an Eleven-year-old

"Do you like my spice rack?"

"I like your whole apartment!"

"Hey. It's a HOUSE, ok? I paid for it, it's a HOUUUUUUUUSE."

"it's a condo..."

Black Ops

"That is way too loud. People are trying to sleep. Where is the remote..."

[volume drops]

"NOW I CAN'T HEAR IT!"

"What do you mean you can't hear it?? It's guns and "ugh!""

Wherein we vent

Grad Student: "Well, this has to be done soon because I leave for Europe next Friday."

Me: "Wait, that means I leave next Friday, too!"

GS: "See? There just aren't enough hours in the day."

Me: "I think I just peed my pants a little bit. We are not happy. The collective 'we'. Lots of anger in this room right now."

Other researcher (doing solidworks): "WHERE THE HELL IS MY MIDDLE STEP? I SEE IT! ITS RIGHT THERE!! SO WHY ISN'T IT IN THE PICTURE???!!"

Admin: "Fuckin' beets. I hate avocado salad. ...Oh, sorry, y'know 'when in Rome'..."

The Woes of Growing Up

"Ew, you stink. Go take a shower!"

"And use soap this time!"

"Are you guys sure its not just my B.O.?"

"Um, B.O. is washable. With soap."

"I thought you could only get rid of B.O. with deodorant."

"Go get in the shower..."

Seems like a good excuse to Me

Just last night in my first class (creative lighting in photography...I'm psyched) the instructor was talking about how Boston is the fastest city in the world based on people's walking speed, number of times people check their watch, and some other weird things that had me head-tilting like a puppy a little. I mean, OK, I certainly move at the speed of light but based on the number of times I get stuck behind people, the rest of Boston does NOT. His point was this: Photography is about what you SEE. So we're all going to have to learn to slow down and LOOK around. I might prove to be his most stubborn student, in just that. He said some other stuff about how this class is going to blow all of our perceptions about "how light actually works" out of the water, but come on, dude, I work with lasers and in the Solar Industry. I could probably teach him about how light really works.

And getting off the plane this morning in Milwaukee, almost all the way in the back, with ONLY carry on luggage (oh my god, Paulie, you'd be so proud of me. It ALL fits in my messenger bag, but I brought my backpack just for kicks anyway) and Benny Benassi making love to my ears, I may or may not have blatantly cut off two ladies with strollers, some old people, and a bunch of young people with rolling suitcases. And, if like my instructor suggested, someone just asked me "What's the hurry?" my answer would be "BECAUSE THAT'S THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC AND I STILL CAN! NOW GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Family Snapshot

So my mom gets into her van the other day and I'm laying on the floor in the back because my stepdad forgot to put the seats in. She looks at the jumble of crap hanging lower than usual from the mirror, notices there is a hole in the turkey feather and says "GOD DAMMIT the goats were in here again!"

Able to Defy the Logic of a Six Year Old in a Single Bound!

Gwen tells her friends: "Allie ate 'booberries' when she was little. Mom told me."

Me: "Yeah, that was pretty silly. I had to get my stomach pumped. But how was I supposed to know they were the poisonous ones?"

6yo: "DON'T EAT BERRIES FROM OUTSIDE!"

Me: "BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY INSIDE!"

Nine-year-old Back Seat Driver

"Allie, you're driving on the line....PICK A LANE, YA JERKFACE!"

Kids these days... And it was a curvy two-lane new england back road with pretty heavy traffic, in the rain, at night. One of those situations where you stay as far away from left-of-center as possible, because there was even a shoulder.

At Dance Rehearsal

J: "Steph, can you do The Tootsie Roll?"

S: "What tootsie roll?"

J: "MY Tootsie Roll!"

S: "Why can't you do your own tootsie roll?!"

I Smell Fat?

"Your hair smells good! Like a McDonald's cheeseburger!!"

Quote of The Day

"That's not a talking cat! That's Beyonce!"

Umm, WTF, mate?

Coming back from the beach this afternoon...

M: Whoa, it totally smells like propane in here.

A: That's weird. You have an electric stove and oven...

M: Nothing in this house runs on propane!

A: Your bedroom smells like it, too.

Nine-year-old following me into bedroom: What's cocaine? I don't smell anything.


So both my sisters and I are in Florida for New Year's vacation. The 'rents left two days ago, and my darling boyfriend left this morning. We have three more days of lounging, avoiding the sun, and warm weather together. Then I go back to the real world where the rear differential in my car blew up on Christmas Eve after the auto mechanics replaced the fluid but forgot to re-install the fill plug. And with the help of the 60,000 mile service on my car, a skiing trip, and Christmas, I ran up my credit card bill just over $4,000 last month. But for now, I'm still vacating! I hope you understand if I continue to post very infrequently for the next week or so...

Old Enough To Be Set In My Ways??

Here I am in my third (technically fourth, but I took a week long vacation in LA last week) week at my new job, surrounded by entirely new people.

For five years at Dartmouth, I worked to shed my reputation as "The Little Blonde Girl Who Tells Really Awful Stories That Usually Have No Relevance And Almost Always Have No Real Ending." I'd gotten pretty close, too. I thought carefully about most things I wanted to say before I said them, and I always thought about whether or not those thoughts were even worth sharing in the first place. Ok, maybe not always, but at least a lot more than when I was a freshman.

This morning, the 7 of us were eating our bagels, making coffee, and generally shooting the shit before starting real work when it got quiet. In the quiet, I thought out loud "Man...I've really missed bagels." Because, seriously, it was a cinnamon dutch apple raisin bagel from Panera with plain cream cheese and it was just exactly what I needed. I haven't been eating breakfast, either, in my struggle to actually get through 35 minutes of traffic and BE at work by 8:30 in the morning. Plus, in the last 3 weeks, B has been feeding me, but I leave before she gets up. I continued "I guess Chinese people don't really do bagels" because I haven't seen them in the apartment, and come to think of it, I haven't ever seen her eat one.

My immediate supervisor gave me a weird look and I shared the silent, informational parts of that thought with him and he said "Oh, I was waiting for you to take us full circle..."

Another employee, a Harvard Business School student doing marketing work for us, said "I was going to be alright if that's where the story ended. It was Allie, after all..."

I'm shocked. In less than three short weeks, I have successfully reproduced my entire college identity to an entirely new audience. So much for being a grown-up!

This Is Why We're Friends

This isn't my story, but it has been a few days and this is really freaking good...

So a very dear friend of mine had an interview for a different position in the company she has already worked for for the last year. It also happened to be Free Pizza Day at the office.

She went to the interview, with a woman she already knows, right around the same time the pizza was delivered and the woman, knowing my friend, said to her "Do you want to reschedule this meeting for another time? I know how important free food is to you. ...No, really, it's fine. Are you sure you don't want to meet later?"

You know you're addicted to food when your potential future boss KNOWS that you're addicted to food. Especially free food.

Loving The New Job

Day #1: Dive in head first, review plans for overall system, check on operation of pilot system to discover that one of the pipes filled with poo and rotten food has exploded all over the inside of the containment trailer. Spend the afternoon mopping poop off walls in 105 degree weather.

Day #2: Chillax, read papers, design test stands.

Day #3 (today): "We have stainless steel nippppllleeeees!!! Weeeee! ...Ryan, you don't sound excited about the nipples."


And, well, on that note...I suppose I don't have senioritis anymore. Anybody have any ideas on what the blog should be called now?

Pick Your Battles

I just got into a yelling match (or, really, I sat there mindblown while this little uppity 20-year-old Napoleon told me how he wants the Hybrid to look for comp) with one of the DFR captains over the color scheme of the crash attenuator.

First, let me tell you how important the crash attenuator is: It is a foam block that is supposed to absorb all of the kinetic energy of the 100-lb car at 23 ft/s, just in case one of the drivers hits something. In other words, vital.

Secondly, let me tell you where it is located: It is bolted to the front of the steel tube frame on a quarter-inch aluminum bulkhead. It fits nicely UNDER (i.e. COVERED BY) the nosecone. Ergo, no one will see it except during the design event when the judges are looking at the pedal package, control system, and wiring.

Thirdly, we have this unwritten rule that if you make a part on the car, you get to paint it and mount it, as long as it doesn't interfere and it meets all the rules/specs. I spent two days (plus one waiting for glue to dry) making this thing. By myself.

I printed out the Thayer and DFR logos in the sticker printer and stuck them on, then painted over them and peeled the stickers back off. So my attenuator is purple with white logos, because the can of purple paint was available and full. We didn't have any black or Dartmouth Green. Then I wrapped the edges in the same neon orange tape as is covering all of the high voltage (Danger!) wires.

A few of the things he said to me:
"Oh, it will NOT be that color tomorrow!"
"I don't care if YOU made it, I'M going to FIX it."
"...Do we need to put this to a vote!?"
"You really don't listen to anyone else, do you??!"
"He [Donny, other captain] only let you do it because he's a huge wimp!"
"Its disgusting! Its the first thing anyone is going to see!!"

All the while, our extremely helpful, resourceful, intelligent faculty mentor is standing next to me saying to Mr. Napoleon "Its not important, just cooperate with each other, purple is fine..." Then leaves the room because he realizes that I share his sentiments exactly, I really don't care that I'm being yelled at, and that the stupid d-bag isn't even listening to him.

If he does paint over it while I'm not looking, if you know me, you know that he is in DEEP shit, and he better keep BOTH eyes on everything he owns for the next two years.

Everybody else makes fun of it, but this is the only kid who might be bold enough, stubborn enough, and a big enough jerk to actually make that move against me. I don't care what the color of the attenuator is, but I care if you're a big enough asshole to make a big deal out of it.

Blatant Self Call

I have officially joined the ranks of The Employed; at least for the summer!

I will be taking up a position as an Electrical Engineer (Intern, to start) at a CleanTech start-up company near Boston shortly after graduation. They aren't paying me a whole heck of a lot, for a double-ivy-league grad, but it is a start-up and if all goes well, I could totally be a high roller in five years!!

This job was the only one, ever, for which I wrote a real, actual cover letter. I suppose when I put my mind to it, I kick ass. And I REALLY wanted this job. I swear they must have talked to my mom, my dad, my grandma, my advisor, and Santa Clause before they posted this job so that it would appeal perfectly and only to ME. I did backflips just reading the position's description: They want me to know electronics, control theory, and electrical theory, but they also want me to be able to machine, wire, or build anything and everything, test to my heart's desire, and be an excited, young mind. "Must be hands-on." I may as well have written that for myself! Not to mention I'll saving the world in doing it all.

The company is only 6 employees right now (I'll be lucky number 7!), working in a tiny, mildly heated garage in the suburbs. I was pretty much sold after the phone interview when my future boss ended the conversation with "I'm not telling you what to do here...but when you come down...its just going to be the six of us standing around in the garage with our blue jeans and t-shirts...soo, really, I'm not telling you what to do, but you don't need to dress up on our account." And when I asked him if that meant that I didn't need to bleach the pink dye out of my hair, he laughed and said I could keep the dye.

I'll tell you what it is I'm actually working on once we deliver the first product in August. Here's a hint: It smells like poop!

I Mean...It's True

I don't remember this conversation happening, but I ran into my friend DJ Bootz today and he reminded me of that other time I was wearing my sunglasses inside...

"Someone asked you why you were wearing them and your response was "Because I'm The Shit." and that's why I like you, Allie."

Ha! Someone needs to occasionally take my talking privileges away. I'm pretty sure I was sober, too.

Best Quote Ever

"Can we hang out soon? I hate all my other friends."

I'm not even sure why I love this so much. But apparently I'm that one friend out of all who doesn't suck. I'm sweet.

Conversation and A Photo

That have nothing to do with one another.



The backstory: Donny leans over his work with the soldering iron and I immediately see the smoke waft up into his face as I'm leaving the room, so I lean back in.

"Shouldn't you have a vent over that?" (he leans away and keeps working) "I just don't want your kids to have three eyes or something..."

"Well, with my taste in women that might be a possibility anyway."

...

"Alright well I don't want you to get cancer."

"I'm leaning away!"



And a belated photo of three very cute kids.