Black Ops

"That is way too loud. People are trying to sleep. Where is the remote..."

[volume drops]

"NOW I CAN'T HEAR IT!"

"What do you mean you can't hear it?? It's guns and "ugh!""

Family Snapshot

So my mom gets into her van the other day and I'm laying on the floor in the back because my stepdad forgot to put the seats in. She looks at the jumble of crap hanging lower than usual from the mirror, notices there is a hole in the turkey feather and says "GOD DAMMIT the goats were in here again!"

A Day on Block Island

Rode over with the Cap'n in the wheelhouse! Did a whole little photo shoot of him, actually :)
Spent just enough time on the beach to not get sunburnt.
Realized the water was too cold to do anything in/with anyway.
Went fake-shopping (and realized the store that says "Home Made Fudge" painted on the front of the building is actually a mini-arcade...such a disappointment...)
And took the ferry home with 900 hormone-filled beach-bound high schoolers.

A Grand Little Party

My step-cousin Kaitlin's daughter turned a year old this weekend. Happy Birthday Claire!







She partied until she couldn't stand up on her own anymore. But since she's bad at napping she kept going like a little party zombie.

Ladies Day Out

This is: all the beautiful women on my mother's side of the family, having traveled to Westchester Co., NY to see the cute, curly-haired blonde in glasses and red boots in A Little Night Music, with the exception of her older sister, and my dear sweet Florida-bound sister Mariel. The play was great, though being exclusively about adultery and sex, was a little inappropriate for my 9-year-old Cupcake but she still enjoyed the music and dancing. If you are reading this and aren't in the picture and therefore didn't already see it, I highly recommend it. Very funny. At the White Plains Performing Arts Center.

Before the play, we had lunch at Legal Sea Food. That was sort of funny because Legal is a Boston chain, and I drove all the way down from Boston to eastern Conn, to NY to end up at a restaurant that there are 4 of within 20 minutes walking from my office. It was good, though. Closest thing to a Maryland crabcake [Ok, I have to share - I just typed "crackcake" without noticing] I've had since Maryland! Before lunch, I got my Diabetes On and tested my blood sugar, when almost everyone else at the table shouted "Test me too! Do me!!" So we went around the table and confirmed that everyone else in the family is, in fact, healthy. Gwen, though, curled up inside her jacket and shook with fear that I might prick her finger and TAKE HER BLOOD until I put the little test kit away.

On the way home, I kidnapped the other three people in the car I was in and made a pit stop at Paul's house for coffee and a hug. Dr. Bobby and Mama Jo were very sweet and welcoming, and we got to see the giant train set in the attic run! We only stayed for about 20 minutes but that added enough time to our trip that we needed to stop en route for dinner, so I manned the Nuvi to find several good restaurants that were...ooooooh, shit, right down that exit ramp we just passed... Finally we found an Outback which was awesome because I got to eat a Bloomin' Onion. That can't be that bad, right? Just a little flour? And fats are OK for me to eat... WRONG!! 241g of Carbohydrate in a single Bloomin' Onion. That's an entire day's worth of food for me...

And then we went home.

9-Year-Olds Leave The Best Voicemails

"awwww, Allie I wanted to talk to you! Congratulations and ask you how your first day of work went... Also, House is on right now!! At this moment! The time now is 8:06. Okkaaaayyy, Love you, byebye. Love you, byebye. Buh-bye, Love you! ...Love you. ...Bye."

"Hi, Allie! I wanted to tell you that when Bunny was still here, HE ATE MY HAT! There's little bite marks on it and everything. I love you. Ok, I love you byebye. Love you. Love you."

"Hi Allieeeee! [Something I can't understand] and Happy Valentine's Day 5 days early. And I had a FAIL at the CVS Shop today. I thought the van next to us that was blue was ours so I started yanking on the handle WILDLY! [incessant giggling] ...ohhh, I had a fail... A HARD fail. Yeah. Buh bye! I love you! Happy Early Valentine's day again. Bye. LOVEYOU!"

So That's What A Weekend Is For!

I forced myself out of bed at 7 this morning instead of oversleeping until 830 like I usually do, to realize that my legs were about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit (name that book. anyone? Bueller?). Maybe it was because of the extensive play I did with my two cousins on the musical staircase at the Museum of Science that we did after seeing a skydiving movie at the IMAX, or maybe it's the bruises I got from slipping and falling on a patch of ice then sliding under a parked car last week finally catching up with me, or maybe its from carrying that 60-lb box of textbooks from the storage closet in my apartment up to my new office, or MAYBE its the THREE HOURS of hard dancing I did yesterday afternoon while trying out for the MIT Dance Troupe. Yep, that's the one.

It all started about 3 months ago, when my roommate first learned that they were making one of her favorite books, He's Just Not That Into You into a movie. I forgot that it premiered this weekend, and I invited my two cousins up to visit. Clearly this movie, and the gin & tonic that apparently MUST accompany it are not of particular interest to 12- and 13-year-olds. So we go see the movie on opening night (Friday) so that I can pick up the kids on Saturday morning. Which means we have to leave our apartment at 8:15 pm to get in line to get good seats for the 10 pm showing. Suddenly, a 2 hour movie is now 5 hours long. But, as it happens, it was a fantastic movie, and I would recommend it to ANYONE.

Saturday morning, I received a phone call from my aunt, worried that 10:30 might be too late a meeting time for her to get back home and get to her afternoon work shift on time, so can I please leave in 15 minutes. Absolutely, I can! You're family and you won't care if I'm not wearing a bra and haven't brushed my teeth yet or showered in three days. But then? Waiting in the Burger King parking lot halfway between our two homes, when I tried to unlock my car to put the kids' bags in, I accidently lock it, keys inside. So now AAA gets to see me in my pajamas without brushed teeth at almost noon on a Saturday. Oops.

We get back to my apartment with just enough time to bring bags in and collect the 60 lb box of books and be on our way to the Dance Showcase. I'm just gonna throw this out there, but Nerdy Kids are gooooooooooooooood dancers. I am in way over my head. And I haven't even worked out in a year. And they all have better hair than me. Even the boys.

One parking ticket later, we were back home, and since I have a work computer and a personal computer now, both kids could play World of Warcraft at the same time. However, this meant I needed to hijack my boyfriend's account, since I only have one. We decided on an IMAX show (8 pm), I showered, took a nap, and then we took the train out to the Science Center. Kaiser failed immediately at the "keep standing up without holding onto anything while the train starts moving" game. We had more fun than a barrel of monkeys. And we all had Dippin' Dots! And were exhausted when we got home and shared a box of mac & cheese before crashing.

Sunday morning, I made waffles (read: thawed and served) for the kids, and roommate B had a friend staying for the weekend, so she was making (read: mixing, cooking, flipping) chocolate chip pancakes for her share of the apartment while we watched Spongebob Squarepants. Then I went back to MIT to die a death of dance.

It worked. I made three dances, even though Claudia said I looked bored during my audition. That was not bored, that was excessively tired... Worst possible practice schedule I could have gotten:
-Thursday 10-11 pm
-Saturday 2-4 pm
-Sunday 2-3 pm
I did NOT want to practice on weekends. I'm not a student. I'm a full time employee. Weekends are my ME time. But I'll give it a shot for a while and see how it goes... And maybe you can come see me perform (if I'm still alive) in May!

Right after the auditions, I drove 2 hours to give the kids back, and hurried home to watch my three requisite hours of House.

This morning I ran into a friend I haven't seen in about three years in the train station, which hasn't happened to me before in this city, and I'm emotionally prepping myself for a doctors appointment in an hour and a half which may or may not knock me out for two days. Weekend Fin. But the next one is three days long! And there's a Friday The 13th in there, too!

Umm, WTF, mate?

Coming back from the beach this afternoon...

M: Whoa, it totally smells like propane in here.

A: That's weird. You have an electric stove and oven...

M: Nothing in this house runs on propane!

A: Your bedroom smells like it, too.

Nine-year-old following me into bedroom: What's cocaine? I don't smell anything.


So both my sisters and I are in Florida for New Year's vacation. The 'rents left two days ago, and my darling boyfriend left this morning. We have three more days of lounging, avoiding the sun, and warm weather together. Then I go back to the real world where the rear differential in my car blew up on Christmas Eve after the auto mechanics replaced the fluid but forgot to re-install the fill plug. And with the help of the 60,000 mile service on my car, a skiing trip, and Christmas, I ran up my credit card bill just over $4,000 last month. But for now, I'm still vacating! I hope you understand if I continue to post very infrequently for the next week or so...

Another New Kitten

Two weeks ago when I came to my mother's house, there was a crate sitting in the middle of the living room and it had an unrecognizable small cat in it. Later, I was informed that this was Hobo (a.k.a. Hobobobobobo), a stray they'd found living under the raccoon's winter condo. They trapped him and took him to a vet, who determined that he was about 12 weeks old and gave him a healthy de-worming-and-bugging. He has since gotten used to the residing rabbit, dog, 4 other cats, and people. He's very skittish, and runs away from us when we try to pick him up, but when we do catch him, he remembers that he actually LOVES people and will let us pet and play with him for hours. And he'll attack every other animal in the house with a swat to the face. The cats will either ignore him or attack him back, the rabbit sits there looking confused, and the dog gets stressed out and whines. He is absolutely adorable, and very lovable. And he likes to get his picture taken, which is great for me. Here he is watching "The Ultimate Cat Video" on youtube, and eating Momostupid's ear.
Currently, he is hiding under the chair I'm sitting in, purring.

Feeling The Christmas Spirit

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Wisconsin-Bound

I woke up yesterday morning with an email from the professor I'm going to start doing research for ANY. DAY. NOW. (Though he wanted me to start on the first, but the Dean's office is being uncooperative) saying that he wants to meet with me on Tuesday. So I have four guaranteed-free days.

I went online and found a super cheap last-minute round trip flight to Green Bay, so I'm going XC Skiing with my Daddy-O this weekend. I'll bring back pictures of Maxie Puppy! And by "XC Skiing" I probably mean eating a ton of delicious food and falling asleep on the couch watching movies, but we'll see. I know we have to walk the dog, at the very least.

XO

Breakfast Brilliance

Last week while I stayed at the boyfriend's awesome house in Westchester, we had a lovely bagel breakfast when the giant family arrived very early on Thanksgiving from the city to avoid traffic. We still managed to have quite a few leftover from the GARBAGE BAGS FULL of bagels that the family brought with them. The next morning, I was waking up and checking email in the kitchen when one of his sisters came downstairs to grab herself a bagel and she did the most amazing thing I've ever seen done with a bagel. Instead of two halves, she sliced the bagel into 3 slivers! So brilliant! So simple!

As a lover of cream cheese, as in, I used to eat the individual packets sold at Costco that my dad would stock his fridge with as snacks, this is 50% more surface area and is the perfect excuse to eat 50% more cream cheese with one bagel. Because I start to feel guilty when I pile more than about half an inch of cream cheese on one bagel slice. Also people tend to get upset when the entire container of cream cheese is gone, but more than half the bagels are still left.

No, I Don't Have Better Things To Do

I just don't feel like posting every day anymore. I sleep probably 60% of most days, and follow my boy around being a doting girlfriend 20% of the time, and the other 20% I split between eating, applying for more jobs, showering, my photo projects, and catching up on 30Rock, Prison Break, and The Office. Note that I am still not working out.

The one fun story I have for you today is that on Saturday, my mom called and woke me up at noon to tell me that she wanted to come up to Boston for dinner and to see my apartment. I was in Hanover. In 3 hours, I loaded the car, took some pictures at Shop Day (DFR), and convinced Paul to come down, too, and skip out on his frat basement for the night. Farmer John has wanted to try out the Hilltop Steakhouse and Butchershop since his Thanksgiving trip to Texas last year where it was recommended to him and his love for red meat. We made it happen, and they brought the kids, too.

It was awesome. I had a filet because I can't eat more than 8 oz. of anything except chocolate at a time and I don't eat red meat very often anymore. We also demolished two onion blossoms and a bunch of IBC Root Beer. The highlights were the placemats - exceptionally thorough cartoons of how and where to slice your cow, and driving the 30 minutes from my apartment with two of us stuffed in the back of the minivan on the floor with sleeping bags because my mother had removed some of the seats.

Then the kids spent the night, and I let them (and Paul) stay up until 2 am playing World of Warcraft because I'm a terrible babysitter. We woke up around 10, which is exactly when we needed to leave to meet my mother halfway - in Worcester - to drop off the kids before taking my College Student back to school to study for his exam (today). I am embarrassed to admit that I actually said the words "If we don't leave NOW, you won't get Starbucks!!". We didn't leave then but they still got their Starbucks (see today's Daily Photo), and because I am my mother's daughter, she was even later than we were.

My Keeper

This boyfriend I have, he's very cute. And exceptionally lucky is the fact that we are both very close with our own families, and also quite fond of each other's families.

Some time recently, he accompanied me to a Family Dinner at aunt&uncle's house (I have been to a lot of those lately, being unemployed and all...) and after dinner, he offered to help clean up. A dinner for 10 people tends to have a lot of mess in the making and dishes dirtied. My uncle, though, is a dish devour-er, and didn't really need the help. So, to not disappoint my eager young friend, he gave him a piece of clean tupperware to put out of his way in the tupperware cabinet.

When he opened the cabinet door, a few pieces of plastic or lids fell out onto the floor, so my uncle had the brilliant idea to tell my darling boy to busy himself by organizing it.

My aunt, whose kitchen it really is, was enjoying her after-dinner conversation and not paying much attention to this cleaning up. When she mopped and disinfected the following morning and I went downstairs for breakfast, she had noticed the clean tupperware cabinet and exclaimed to me "Did you see the tupperware cabinet?? He's a keeper!!" And my aunt? She is a tough lady from whom to gain approval.

He's also got those gorgeous hazel eyes...

This Is Funny

Last week while I had my sinus infection, I stayed mostly at my mom's house, so she could take care of me, instead of my aunt&uncle's house like I usually do. She did a good job. I got clean sheets and everything. And I'm feeling a million times better. Occasionally, I'd still drop by my aunt&uncle's house to hang out with anyone who happened to have the day off from work or school. One night we all convened there for dinner while I was still feeling pretty sick (please excuse The Ugly) and the kids jumped on my computer, as they are wont to do, like white on rice. Apple's Photobooth application is a favorite pastime of ours. Below we have cousin Claudia, 13, being the total Diva that she is and me, 23, making a face and drooling on Claudia's arm, then trying to recover, then pointing out the drool on Claudia's arm, and finally laughing at her reaction to it.

Presenting: Rocky

This little man shown below is Farmer John's Pride and Joy, Rocky Raccoon. He was found as a palm-sized baby meandering lost about my stepfather's attic, and has become quite a part of the family with quite the extravagant homemade outdoor condo. When I first met him, he weighed about 8 lbs and was still devouring the nipples on bottles of blended puppy chow and soymilk. He was a little difficult to handle with his little raccoon talons, but still affectionate. John used a towel, a flannel shirt, and gloves. Really he just wanted to climb on top of someone's head, then down to their feet, then back up to their head. If he stumbled upon a pocket, he would inspect it for grapes (occasionally John filled his pockets with grapes, which Rocky loves).

A friend of mine has a neighbor who regularly raises raccoons and swears they ALL go feral at 6 months. We've had him now since March, and he is just as loving as ever, though not terribly domestic. He'll climb you, reach for you, nibble on you, and lick you until he's broken skin and you want him to go away, but he still wants to cuddle. His cuddling just isn't very comfortable for humans. He's got a Buddha belly weighing in around 22 lbs, and he will happily latch himself to your legs jeans with his sharp little talons. But boy, is he cute.

Here he is when I first met him, still living in the house playing on top of his cage, before he was old enough for me to be painfully allergic to.
And here he is this morning, willing to come out of his penthouse (the little hole to the left - which he often has to wiggle his fat belly to get through) and say hello to me now that I'm not covered in sick cooties. He wouldn't come out yesterday.

Addendum: The pet count on my mom's side of the family is now 1 dog, 4 cats, 1 raccoon, "about a dozen" chickens, and 3 goats. I have 1 rabbit and 4 fish. My dad is hoarding Max to himself out in the UP.

And The Winner Is...

Sinus Infection! Which is far more preferable than a 3-year-delayed dry socket from my wisdom teeth removal compounded with 50 other things (pink eye, ear infections, etc.). I finally went to the Emergency Room, not having a doctor, and they just sort of ...guessed... and put me on some antibiotics. Super. Mom and Claudia came with me so that I wouldn't be bored or lonely and we all cuddled up on the hospital bed for 45 minutes or so watching James Bond. It was pretty cute. The nurse who gave me my discharge paperwork assumed I was 15 years old and spoke directly to my mother, only marginally acknowledging me. It was obnoxious, but I am confident in my ability to have gone by myself if I needed to, and she doesn't know me, so I'll let it slide.

On a completely different note, I'm going to try and post every day this month in honor of National Blog Posting Month. Its going to be a pretty JV attempt, but I'll just see what I can come up with.

Maybe Its Time To Change The Channel

At my mom's house, there is only one places where one ever eats meals: the dining room table. Its a cozy little table, in the cozy little dining room right off the living room. The TV is sort of between the two on a swivel and pretty much is always on, if for nothing other than background noise.

My nine-year-old sister has a playroom in the basement (which is really in shambles and smells like the many pets we have which reside down there) with a TV. As enforced by my stepfather (whose youngest kid is almost 18), the basement TV is where the "kid shows" are played, and the living room TV pretty much stays on CSI or Law and Order. Gwen, being practically an only child, since the older kids are mostly moved out and hardly ever stay there, has a bit of an attention problem. If the TV is on, she stares at it, and forgets to chew her food. This was a problem for my stepfather, so she is made to sit with her back to the TV. This has been the case for about two years.

Now that the kid is a little older, she's getting more and more perceptive, even if she's not looking at what she hears or following the story detail for detail. Last week we had a family dinner at my uncle's house, and the kid found some sidewalk chalk. She asked my uncle, who was manning the grill, if she could use it. Side note: he said "Only if you don't get any on the driveway." There is no sidewalk in his neighborhood.

She drew these:That is a dead toucan, a dead cat cartoon character, and a family of dead whales.

And this last one, down right near the street, for all the neighbors to see. For this masterpiece, she dragged my stepdad outside to see, and told him "Look! I drew the guy from CSI: Miami!""He's laying in a pool of his own blood!"

Therapy

Well, I'm still unemployed, which is not surprising considering I haven't applied to a single job, yet. I did update my resume, at the very least. It looks more like an entry to a contest to see who can fit the most words on a single page than a list of my employment qualifications. In theory that's a good thing, and should go well if I actually start applying. I've poked around a little and I can't find another job description that looks like it was written for me. Its disheartening. So I went on vacation. REAL Vacation.

Ok, so when Belinda Carlisle sings about Heaven being A Place On Earth, she's actually talking about my dad's cabin on Manitoulin Island in Ontario. I know what you're thinking - "Seriously? Canada? Canadian Islands? I hope you were smoking a lot of something good..." but I wasn't smoking anything at all, not even the fish we would have caught had we gotten the fishing boat out of storage. I just love this place.

My Grandfather got in on this property back in the 50s sometime, and the group of owners built a little cabin. That cabin is now the real cabin's "yacht club." We call it the Lasata Lodge, built in 1964. Its a charming little, exceptionally rustic, cozy, unheated wooden house on a crystal blue freshwater bay. It hasn't been updated much except for furnishings and kitchenwares since then. There is no internet, one phone with a 3 foot cord, and no TV.
I haven't been since before high school. Not even the year that my Grandfather died and my dad took his ashes up to their final resting place. Some of that is for good reason, but some is just me being terribly lame and not wanting to leave civilization or wanting to make the 18 hour drive (from anywhere). My sister was up earlier in the summer (when it was still warm enough to swim) waiting on my Grandmother, who hadn't been in even longer, hand and foot, so she could enjoy her late husband's home away from home before she gets too old to make the trip. For this reason, she will probably inherit everything, and I will be left a hate letter because I was still working then, and couldn't take that much consecutive time off.

I took my dear boy with me, convinced my father to take a few days off work (since he's so far out in the middle of nowhere that its only an 8 hour drive for him) and had myself a good, happy Re-Lax. The best part? Max was there!! And he is still the cutest, most wonderfully fuzzy dog in the world. He gives hugs. And my dad cooked delicious, entirely homemade meals every day. This might have been my favorite vacation, ever.


There are two things you should note: I brought Oliver. Not because he needed to be there, but because B (my roommate) does not like furry rodent-like creatures and I was afraid he might feel dejected if he was home alone for a week and she might even forget to feed him. He pretty much stayed in his cage the whole time, taunting the poor dog behind his plastic armor. But at least he didn't get depressed. He hated the car ride, though. If he could hold a sledgehammer, he would have hit me with one. While I was driving. Don't ask me where he might get a sledgehammer.
Secondly, we cheated. Paul and I both brought our computers, stocked with video games and sitcom episodes. Kind of contrary to the point of the cabin, but it is 2008, after all. And it was the perfect opportunity to get my dad as addicted to 30Rock as I am. It was too cold to swim, and the weather was miserable for the first two days, but we did break the canoe out one day and fight the wind for 2 hours on the bay. Dad also managed to teach Paul a few new card games. And they dug out the septic tank for repair next spring. Then we finished winterizing, and headed home.
Now, I am sleeping a lot and making sure I like my life plan. I baked a pan of cookies for B last night, but they sucked. The were like little bricks with soft delicious centers. I will probably be moseying across the Charles here shortly and looking for a lab job at MIT and hopefully enrolling part time in the spring.

Happy 4th of July, Indeed

I woke up a little late this morning, and started stressing about getting on the road for work, even more anxious because I got to work VERY late yesterday, as well.

I took a fast shower and threw on the first clothes I could find from the still unpacked duffle I took to Sunny Southern California last week. I, obviously, get stuck in some traffic because city highways blow goats. I roll into our three-car-garage office and my boss is sitting at his desk wearing board shorts and flip flops, beer in hand. This is when I calm down. (I should mention, however, that the shorts and flip flops are not atypical. I wear my giant gay 12-year-old-boy cargo shorts on a regular basis.)

I put in a few orders for stuff we're going to need to upgrade our pilot system next week, and then my boss decided that the other engineer and I finally need to see the full-size alpha system that our contractors are in progress building for us. It is about a 20 minute drive, and we're there checking it out for about 10 minutes, because we already know what the system is supposed to look like, we just haven't seen it in real life, full size. So, it held about 10 minutes worth of excitement for us.

On the drive back, he asks if we play golf. Yes, obviously, everyone plays golf. The only differentiation between golfers is how stupid your clothes look and how much you suck at it. I am mediocre, but not bad. So the three of us drive a jumbo bucket of balls before we head back to work.

About 10 minutes after I roll back into the office, the CEO tells me to quit working with them and go home. I have a mild heart attack since they fired one of the employees while I was gone last week and I only realized this yesterday. He continues "I should have given you the day off anyway, but I forgot. Most companies get the day before the 4th of July off, and since the 4th is a Friday, you get Friday off, too. We're just too small to have a vacation policy."

So after 3 hours of "work" I went home with enough energy to clean my neglected apartment and received an unexpected package from the UPS man. It was a gift; a hammock from my dear old Daddy-O! For my balcony! And he would be arriving shortly via Logan Airport! So he could help me hang it! And tomorrow I have skybox seats at the Doobie Bros. & Chicago concert. Hope if you read this, that your Independence Day was quite as enjoyable as mine.